Pregnancy or adoption: Which is our first choice?

Whenever I tell people that we are on the journey to adopt, we are usually first met with smiles and a congratulatory, “That’s wonderful!”  But often times, the second sentence that comes out is, “You know what’s going to happen right after you adopt?”  Wink.   Wink.

I know that people say these words to be encouraging.  They have no ill-intent behind them, and so I do not get angry.  However, it does hurt my heart to know that people think adoption is our “second choice”.  It seems people often think that our real goal is to get pregnant, and we are just using adoption as a way to “fill our time” or “get to the true finish line.”  This could NOT be further from the truth.

Image result for mom adoption quote

 

My hubby and I started trying to have children over 5 years ago.  We tried naturally at first, as that just seemed to be the typical first route.  After a year, we went to many doctors who gave us various different options for the next steps in getting pregnant, from surgery to medications to IVF.  At that same time, we researched adoption.  We wanted to be knowledgeable about all the paths to parenthood, not just pregnancy.

We then had a serious discussion.  What should we do next?  We still had options for attempting to get pregnant.  Should we exhaust those first?  Or should we listen to the voice in our hearts that was pulling us towards adoption? We both prayed very hard for months.  And what did we decide?

We are called to be parents.

A parent is someone who loves a child unconditionally and wants what is best for them.  A parent makes sacrifices for their child.  A parent puts their child’s needs before their own.

Giving birth may be one of the beautiful ways a parent gets to show their love for their child, or it may not.  However, if it is not, it does make them any less of a parent.  I know, without a doubt, that my husband and I are called to be parents.  However, it is not up to us to decide how that will happen.  No one path is greater than the other.  

Starting the adoption journey 3 years ago gave us more excitement than we had ever felt during our first year of trying to get pregnant, as we now knew we were fully open to God’s will for us.  We may still get pregnant or we may not.  It truly does not matter to us, as long as we one day get to be parents to the children God has chosen for us.

Adoption and pregnancy are both our #1 choices.  Any paths that result in our children is #1 in our books.  Both paths are equally beautiful.  Both require love and sacrifice.  Both are gifts from God.

Both make us parents.

  

Infertility/ Family Vlogs I love

Nope, that title is not a typo.  I know some people are not big on Youtube.  In fact, prior to our infertility challenges, I was one of those people.  However, the pain and frustration of infertility led me to many a late night Google session.  One night, I google who-knows-what and came across the beauty of Youtube.  I stumbled upon a whole community of vloggers who shared struggles similar to mine.  That Google search occurred 4 years ago, and I have not stopped watching since.  These sweet families give me a lot of hope and lift my spirits when times are tough.

Here are a few of my favorite infertility/ family vloggers:

1.    e-and-j     Ellie and Jared Mecham:  These are the first vloggers I ever followed.  I had to create a Youtube account just to follow this lovely couple.  I started watching them 4 years ago when they were struggling through infertility.  They chronicled their whole journey, and they now have 2 beautiful boys.  I watch them every day.  They give me such hope.  They are an extremely kind and upbeat family.  If you are going through infertility, you need to watch this beautiful couple!  Ellie also has a separate channel for beauty, hair, house and parenting tips.

 

2. bonnie    Bonnie and Joel Hollein:  Bonnie is Ellie’s sister.  She has not battled with infertility, but she does show the good, the bad, and the ugly of parenting and marriage.  I LOVE how real she is.  She is a mom of 4 kids.  Her kiddos are adorable and her relationship with her husband is so sweet.  Bonnie is also amazing at hair and makeup.  Her family is another must-see for me each day.  

 

3. k-and-c    Katie and Cullen:  This couple has gone through the heartbreak of multiple miscarriages.  They now have 2  gorgeous children on Earth with them.  Cullen is a total character and cracks me up, and their marriage is very carefree and loving.  They do daily vlogs, and Katie also has her own separate channel where she shares parenting tips.

 

4. missy    Missy Lanning:  Missy has also been through miscarriage and a stillbirth.  She is married to Bryan, and they have a separate channel called Daily Bumps Daily Bumps that documents their daily lives.  They now have 2 sweet boys on Earth with them. Missy shares a lot of in depth information about parenting and her children’s development.

 

Whether you are going through infertility/ loss or are simply in need of some parenting ideas, these couples are all good wholesome people with a lot of advice to share.  They are all good role models in different aspects of life and are just simply fun to watch!  I suggest going back through some of their earlier videos to get a real feel for what their family has been through and how they have dealt with their struggles. 

Give them a try!  You won’t regret it!  🙂

 

 

Christmas Tears

peace-quote

Christmas is a very special time for me.  It has nothing to do with presents and everything to do with the the blessings God has given me.  I always reflect on the past year during Christmas Mass.  Surrounded by family and friends, while singing Christmas carols, I reflect on the past year and all the Lord has given me.  However, this reflection has caused me some pain during the past five years.  Every year I am beyond thankful for all I have, but there is a deep ache in my heart for the one wish I have not received yet.

For so many years, all I wished for was my husband.  I have been praying for my husband since 5th grade.  I prayed and prayed that God would give me a kind and faith-filled man to walk through life with.  I went through my share of heart aches and there were years I thought my man would never come.  Was God listening to me?

Continue reading

Furball Friday: Trimming the tree!

image1 (11).JPG

Happy December!  This is my FAVORITE time of the year!  No matter what holidays you celebrate, this is a time when you can feel the warmth of the season.  We celebrate Christmas, and one of my favorite traditions is putting up the tree.   Bailey loves to help as well.  I am looking for new traditions to try though.  What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?

Continue reading