I find myself saying this prayer a lot recently. I said this prayer almost every day of elementary school. I went to a Christian school, and we said it at the beginning of every physical education class. I did not think much of the words then. The words did not have the same meaning when I was a carefree child, as they do now. Now, I cling to these words…pondering what they mean and how to obtain these virtues…even if only for a few minutes.Serenity: This is a very tough one for the infertile and adopting crowd.
How can you really come to terms with the fact that you can not bear children? How can you accept that your child may be exposed to harm before you are able to adopt them? Why do some people get to fill their homes with children, while you can’t even manage to have one? The list of “unfair” realities goes on and on.
But then, I think of the woman fighting against breast cancer. Or the man who just lost his arm in war. Or the child who loses a parent. Life is not fair. There are some things you simply can not change. So what do you do?
If you dwell on it, it will drive you mad. (Trust me, I’ve been there.)
If you fight God’s plan, you will only become unhappy (and you won’t change anything).
So instead…you pray…pray for SERENITY. The root of this work is “serene,” which means to be calm. I do not often associate struggle with calmness, but God can bring that peacefulness to you. Ask God to soften your heart and allow you to trust in His plan. Ask God to bring good out of this painful situation.
Courage: God has already mapped out a perfect plan for our lives. There are times in His plan when he wants us to be serene and trust as He unfolds the plan before our eyes or heals our aching heart.
However, there are also times when God calls us to action. He needs us to seek out an adoption agency or a new doctor. He wants us to put forth the effort to speak to a birthmom or get more bloodwork. When those times come, we may feel too broken or tired to act. We may also feel apprehensive or doubtful that any new path will work. We may feel like we don’t want to try anything new because we can’t handle another set back if it doesn’t work. Should we avoid all action then? Just give up the fight?
No…never give up…instead, ask God for COURAGE. You need the courage to trust. Every step you take will lead you closer to the prize. Even if that step is just waking up and facing the day head on, it is a step in the right direction. You are closer to your child today than you were yesterday. Every day, a little closer. Take comfort in that and have courage to keep moving forward.
Lastly, Wisdom: I often find this to be the most difficult. How do I know when to act and when “to let go and let God”? Simple…
God speaks to us in the strangest of ways. For example, God told me to have surgery for my endometriosis through a bumper sticker on a stranger’s car. Literally moments before, I had asked God what I should do. If I had not been paying attention, I would have missed the “wisdom” God gave me in that moment.
So stop running around. Stop researching. Stop trying to be in charge.
And, listen…If you ask, God will answer you.
None of us possess these virtues all day every day. I find myself asking for help again and again. But the key is to never give up…
Find yourself upset?- Pray
Find yourself scared?- Pray
Find yourself searching for answers?- Pray
God will always give you serenity, courage, and wisdom.
All you have to do is ASK.